Monday, March 31, 2008

Germans Now Denying Holocaust Telepathically!

BERLIN (IFPN) -- Germany’s Central Council of Jews (ZJD) has demanded "immediate government action" in response to unsettling findings published in its quarterly social trends report, ‘Virulent Anti-Semitism in Germany Today, Issue 1, 2008’.

The report highlights a worrying increase in anti-Semitic sentiment and, more sensationally, the dissemination of holocaust denial "by means of telepathy".

"It’s very frightening and something I cannot ignore given my horrific ordeal in Auschwitz, which I miraculously survived by hiding in a chimney until the camp was liberated," says the ZJD’s president, Charlotte Knobloch, who is currently suing Google for editorial control of YouTube.

"Our own success in determining what constitutes suitable viewing for Internet users in Germany has forced us to imagine alternative scenarios available to young people who don’t trust what the government or their teachers are telling them."

"Never underestimate the power of the Jewish imagination," she adds.

In Germany, anyone who expresses anti-Semitic sentiments or who queries the holocaust by pointing to pre-war and post-war Jewish population statistics or anomalies in the historical record faces prison sentences of up to five years.

The law, however, is unclear on the issue of telepathically communicated anti-Semitism and holocaust denial.

The German government, anxious to reassure the Jewish community, has moved swiftly to calm fears by allocating six million euros in research grants to the ZJD’s hospitality and personal leisure expenses budget.
"We are doing everything we can to eradicate the scourge of anti-Semitism in Germany and the European Union," a government spokesman told IFPN. "The government takes very seriously reports that certain extremist elements in our society are engaged in telepathic holocaust denial and we are monitoring the situation closely."

But official assurances came too late for Israeli tourists Shmuel Linsky and his wife, Diane.

"Just the other day I saw a very relaxed German couple with their children spending our reparations money on ice-cream and hot dogs," says Shmuel scornfully. "They were deliberately and maliciously acting in a way that suggested they were proud to be German, without any sense of shame or guilt. I suddenly felt very threatened by this kind of unspoken anti-Semitism and was overwhelmed by the urge to radio an Israeli F-16 fighter bomber."

Diane Linsky nods her head in pained agreement. They had decided on an impromptu vacation in Germany after watching Angela Merkel on television deliver an impassioned speech to Israel’s parliament, the Knesset.

"Mrs Merkel said that Germans would do everything they could to help Israel and protect the Jewish people from anti-Semitism," she says, her voice cracking. "But when we got here we found we had to pay for our own hotel accommodation and none of the restaurants will let us eat for free, even though we’re Jews and have a long and unique history of suffering."

Shmuel too is overcome by emotion, hardly able to speak. "It’s been humiliating. Even the waiters expect a tip, reminding me of my horrific ordeal in Auschwitz, which I miraculously survived by hiding in a chimney until the camp was liberated," the 36-year-old Mr Linsky adds bitterly.

The Linskys say they had been made to feel "persecuted" and intend to file a claim for compensation. "In fact, we sued before we came out here," says Diane. "Our lawyer in Tel Aviv was offering special terms and a 30 percent discount."

Read the rest of the alarming report here: http://www.thetruthseeker.co.uk/article.asp?ID=8296

P.S. Shmuel's Rabbi said that, well no, the 36-year-old Shmuel was never himself an intern at Auschwitz but suffered the same trauma every Saturday veiwing Schindler's List at Synagogue. "It's as if he were actually at Auschwitz and the only way he could've survived would be by hiding in a chimney until the camp was liberated," he said. "Are you going to deny Shmuel's very real Holocaust trauma?", he asked.

2 comments:

Noor al Haqiqa said...

Absolutely hilarious.

RickB said...

Yah Noor, your bringing this one (post) up from the depths has given me another chuckle. Thanks for the laugh. Will those damn Germans ever learn?

By the works of one of your fellow compatriots, Wayne of Justice4Germans, apparently not.