Kosher Your Protests

From the woman in the video who participated in a non-kosher protest: The Joint Terrorism Task Force Division of the FBI Visits an Austin Peace Activist to Question About Pre-Crimes On April 21, 2010, two agents of the FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force (JTTF) came to my house to talk to me, a part time peace volunteer for Palestine. After verifying that they really were with the FBI, I asked them to wait. I shut my door, took a deep breath, and grabbed my video camera. I want to thank Jeffry Zavala for:

* Helping me remain anonymous in this video.

* For creating something to help you if the FBI ever knocks on your door to question you about pre-crimes.

* For helping me to tell others about my number one cause: Promoting the "One-State" Solution to the Palestine-Israel conflict, instead of the apartheid-like "Two-State" scenario.

* For more information about what to do if you FBI knocks on your door go here.

TO KOSHER YOUR NEXT PROTEST:

* Get a permit from your local synagogue to protest Israeli crimes against humanity.

* Only participate in kosher organized protests where there won't be any mention or criticism of zionism. All such signs won't be allowed.

* If you really feel the need to protest Israeli crimes against humanity, have someone from the jewish community playing a prominent role. If you can't find anyone, wear a yarmulka, dress like a rabbi, look jewish. Still make sure you don't have any signs citing Israel or zionism. If you should mention Israel or zionism, never forget to add that not all jews are zionists. You don't have to tell anyone that you personally don't know of any that aren't zionists. [Chomsky and Finkelstein don't count. They are both zionists... so is Jennifer Lowenstein, Wisconsinites.]

* Instead of protesting and complaining about Israeli crimes against humanity, celebrate them. Get an Israel flag, wave it and say "we are all Israelis." This may be totally opposed to your human decency, but it would be kosher, and you wouldn't get any complaints from the jewish community or any visits from the FBI or Homeland Security.

Note: To avoid hassling visits from the FBI or Homeland Security to your home, place an Israeli flag in your living-room window or on your front door. Definitely don't put out a Palestinian flag.